Grown-up.

I am feeling particularly adult today. Maybe its because I am almost finished with my second year of college. Maybe its because I am now twenty and the feeling comes with the territory. Maybe its because everyone I know is married or pregnant, and just the association make me feel old. Maybe its because I'm not going home for the summer. Maybe its because I have a real job now, not one handed out to me by someone I know-not that I don't appreciate that mom and dad- but I got this job on nothing but my own merits and skills, in my own field, and that feels really good. So today is just a mature kind of day.  

Here is a funny picture that kept very entertained the other day to counterbalance all the serious grownup stuff:

Last Week I'll be a Teenager.

I turn 20 in a week from today. 20!!! I'm not ready to be that old, and to no longer be a teenager. I feel like I should have it more together and more figured out by now. But that's how its been with other milestones. I thought I would have had way more figured out when I joined young women's, and then when I started high school and turned 16 and could drive, and then when I graduated, and then when I started college. But here I am in my almost third year (yikes!!) and everything is so different than I thought it would be. I've realized that you can watch people close to you accomplish things like graduation or college and think you know how it will be for you because of how it was for them, but when you actually reach that point nothing goes the way you thought. Not to say that it still isn't great, because it so is, but when you reach those points, you aren't even as old or as mature as you thought others were. Here are some pictures I found that I just really love. Sorry about the randomness and the super paragraph. Hopefully the pictures make it better.

The Little Things.

Just got back from my tenth trip to the bathroom in about two hours. I find that when I study on campus, I position myself close to a bathroom just cuz it makes life easier #smallbladderproblems.

But today I'm grateful for the little things. I'm grateful for a reliable printer that works everyday, without me wanting to cuss it out. 

I'm grateful for tissues, and most importantly, the little pack of kleenex my mom put in my backpack when she moved me into the dorms a thousand years ago. It has come in handy today, and has save my poor little nosey from scratchy campus paper towels. 

I'm grateful for the sun for melting all the terrible snow. 

I'm grateful for music because it makes boring and down-right miserable tasks like studying for physical science bearable.


I'm grateful for good hair days and cute outfit days because NOTHING can ruin one of those. 

I'm grateful for accomplishing little goals and that keep me on track when the big ones seem so far off. It makes those huge achievements seem that  much closer, and sometimes that's all you need to get back on track. 

I couldn't choose which quote I liked best, so its a double quote kinda day :)

Habits

Its so easy to fall back into old habits. Some are bad, like biting my nails, that I have overcome countless times due to numerous new year's resolutions, but when I get stressed when I am studying or writing a paper, I fall back into my old ways. Some are good, like cleaning up as a go while I cook or do projects (boy, has that one been drilled in). But I am mainly thinking of school habits. I find that as I write, for all kinds of classes, I still use phrases and formats that Snyder or Martin or Weaver have taught me. I am so blessed to have had such awesome teachers that have helped me become the student and the person I am today. All those years ago, and they still have a lasting impact on me. I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to go to college and for my capable mind that enjoys analyzing and learning. 

This is what I have noticed today. That as time passes, you don't realize the changes, but looking back, everything has changed, but is the same still in the ways that little habits and characteristics reemerge and find ways back into our lives. 

It's Official!

I know a bit of time has past, but I found out a few weeks ago that I got accepted into my major! I couldn't be more thrilled and ready to take only classes that I'm good at and that I enjoy -- well maybe except for accounting. But yeah. It's official. I'm on track to becoming a public relations person (they need a better name for my job...). SO EXCITED!!!!!!!

Rasputin

So today in Poly Sci we learned about Rasputin. And when I say learned about, I mean my Professor mentioned him for about 5 seconds in passing during a discussion about Tsar Nicholas. Anyway, he was a crazy, corrupt, pretend-monk, magic-practicing advisor to the Tsar. When I hear Rasputin, the villain from the movie Anastasia comes to mind (which, by the way, I can't believe they made a kids movie about an entire family being brutally murdered).

This is what I mean. How creepy is that dude?? When in fact this is the real Rasputin. Who is not much better than the cartoon.

So the thought train had started and I turned to the only place to find about random historical events:  Wikipedia. Because while kids' movies are awfully entertaining, they sometimes teach misconceptions about history. For example, Rasputin, however creepy he might be, didn't curse the Romanov's. It was the Bolshevik Secret Police at the order of Lenin (thanks, Wikipedia). And while we all love Dimitri, he either didn't exist or died with the rest of the servants in the basement of their prison house. So sorry to ruin Anastasia for you, but I think the historical account is pretty entertaining to. Fun fact: the last to die were all the Tsar's daughters because they had sewn 1.3 kilos of diamonds and precious gems into the lining of their dresses to keep them from Lenin, and the jewels deflected the bullets and bayonets. 

Sorry if this was a bit grim, but it fascinates me. So to lighten the mood, here is a video of everyone's favorite song from Anastasia. 

Ambition.

What a title, I have to say. It's one of those qualities that everybody wants to say they have, and to say they understand, but the truth is, very few people do. Don't get me wrong. There are some ambitious people out there who have done some amazing things, but more often then not, people either have to little or too much ambition. Too little, and you never amount to anything. Too much, and you never focus on doing one thing the best. Now these are the extremes. I'm not saying you are either a loser or a busybody. There are many different in-betweens and middle-grounds, and sometimes people can be incredibly motivated toward one aspect of their life, and totally blasé toward another.

So those are my thoughts. 

Now that I have philosophized a bit, here's why its on my mind today:

My roommates and I today were discussing majors, careers and the future -- typical topics in Mansion 22 -- and we were discussing where we would like to end up someday, and I realized I have two visions for my future that don't really coincide. 

One vision is a successful LDS one, where I get married at BYU and move back to Arizona to be near my family, and am a perfect little stay at home mom in a super cute Pinterest house where I cook interesting meals and have adorable genius prodigy children and a husband who rakes it in. 

The other is a successful worldly one, where I graduate from BYU and move to Chicago or New York or Boston or DC and become a sought after public relations specialist or communications advisor for a political campaign and live in a beautiful apartment in the city and do cultured things like attend the ballet and all kinds of galas.

Both of those scenarios I want desperately, but I don't see how they can coexist, on the simplest level, that one is set in a brownstone in DC, while the other is located in a house with a yard somewhere in Mesa. 

The most important part there, though, is that I don't see how it will work out. There is a quote from on of my first devotionals by Sister Oaks that says, "the Lord will provide a way for you to balance your ambitions." Short and sweet, but that simple phrase helps me realize that Heavenly Father knows me and knows my desires and has a plan that will allow me to be happy and the enjoy the best parts of each eventuality. 

I thought the cityscape was particularly fitting.

Per Request of the Krusty-Krust :

So I have been very busy lately as any college student can attest to, and a certain Krusty has been riding me about blogging. So here it is, per request of the Krust. 

I had the privilege of my family coming to visit in early October. They came for their October Break and conference and it was just a fantastic week. They chose a good week because my important class was canceled so I got to spend lots of time with them. We got our Cougar spirit on at the football game, begged for enough tickets to get all 15 of us into conference, heard history making announcements from the prophet, shopped 'til we dropped, played lots of cards and ghost in the graveyard, got leaves in our mouths on the coaster and saw some old beaver damns. A very fulfilling week if you ask me. 

Back in the Swing

Classes have picked up. I have my first test monday (yikes!) It's like the summer never happened with my roommates and I. Strangely, I missed the library. Its good to be back in the college routine--expect for now this college routine does not see the wee hours of the morning as often as before. 

Football games. Nothing is more college than football games in the Fall. Not that this game felt autumny at all due to the bright hot sun the whole time. Still, the excitement of games just fuels the excitement of a new semester. 

Devotionals and firesides. One of the coolest things about BYU is the opportunity to hear from prophets and apostles on a regular basis. Last sunday was regional conference and Elder Oaks spoke along with a myriad of 70's, mission presidents and temple matrons. This was extra special because we got to sit on the floor. And no, this does not mean sit on the ground. They bring chairs to fill in the basketball court so we were super close.

Cooking. Now this is not at all routine from freshman year were all our meals came courtesy of our magic money. But I love cooking. On sunday's, one roommate cooks for everybody and this week Moriah taught us how to make sushi. I know. We are super cultured. 

Hello Again. It's Been a While.

You know its been a long time since your last blog post when your browser history doesn't even remember your domain name. 

So, long time no see blog-world. Its great to be back. My summer's hiatus was due to the fact that I did hardly anything worth mentioning. 

But now that I'm back at BYU, that will all change. 

Since it been so long since my last post, I thought I would reintroduce myself. 

Hi I'm Caroline. I'm a 19-year-old communications major at BYU. I love to read and cook and spend time with friends and family. My favorite color is green. I love pretty things and Harry Potter. John Mayer, James Taylor and Norah Jones are the background music to my life. I love fall and the holidays, but who doesn't? I'm so excited to be a sophomore. 

Now that we are reacquainted, I can't wait to get back to documenting my life and my thoughts. Have a happy Friday everybody. 

Sorry. Couldn't resist.  :)

Missing School.

I am really missing BYU. I miss the dorms. I miss my tall bed. I miss my monopoly money. I miss the nice spring weather. I miss the social opportunities. I miss the mountains. But mostly, I miss all my friends. I have been having dreams lately that I am back at school and they are no more extraordinary then that. They are just my friends and I doing what we did all year: lots of dollar movies, teasing and extremely late nights. I really miss that. It is remarkable to me that I have only been home two weeks and freshman year already seems like a distant memory. So here's to remembering, and I hope everyone will have fun, productive, not too lonely summers.