Last Sunday.

I taught my last lesson as a relief society teacher today. It was a good one, on trials, that I really enjoyed. I talked about how we can grow not only from our own trials, but from other people's as well. We watched My New Life, which I was surprised how many people haven't seen it or even heard their story. Then I shared a quote from her book by Elder Holland that I really love:


“We look for Christ’s scars because they are evidence of what He did for us. They’ll be the first things He shows us when we see Him again. Your scars tell a story, too. Although they may not make you feel attractive, they are a witness of a miracle, that God blessed you to live, and that you have accomplished very difficult things.” 

While he was talking about her physical scars, I think this applies to the spiritual and emotional scars that everyone has from their own trials. We have all overcome difficult things and have come out better and stronger on the other side. We shouldn't be ashamed of our trials; we should be proud that we endured them well and share our experiences and what we have learned to help other people come closer to Christ. 

Anyway, I really love that quote and I am really going to miss teaching relief society. We will see what lottery I draw in my next ward. 

The Little Things.

Just got back from my tenth trip to the bathroom in about two hours. I find that when I study on campus, I position myself close to a bathroom just cuz it makes life easier #smallbladderproblems.

But today I'm grateful for the little things. I'm grateful for a reliable printer that works everyday, without me wanting to cuss it out. 

I'm grateful for tissues, and most importantly, the little pack of kleenex my mom put in my backpack when she moved me into the dorms a thousand years ago. It has come in handy today, and has save my poor little nosey from scratchy campus paper towels. 

I'm grateful for the sun for melting all the terrible snow. 

I'm grateful for music because it makes boring and down-right miserable tasks like studying for physical science bearable.


I'm grateful for good hair days and cute outfit days because NOTHING can ruin one of those. 

I'm grateful for accomplishing little goals and that keep me on track when the big ones seem so far off. It makes those huge achievements seem that  much closer, and sometimes that's all you need to get back on track. 

I couldn't choose which quote I liked best, so its a double quote kinda day :)

Habits

Its so easy to fall back into old habits. Some are bad, like biting my nails, that I have overcome countless times due to numerous new year's resolutions, but when I get stressed when I am studying or writing a paper, I fall back into my old ways. Some are good, like cleaning up as a go while I cook or do projects (boy, has that one been drilled in). But I am mainly thinking of school habits. I find that as I write, for all kinds of classes, I still use phrases and formats that Snyder or Martin or Weaver have taught me. I am so blessed to have had such awesome teachers that have helped me become the student and the person I am today. All those years ago, and they still have a lasting impact on me. I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to go to college and for my capable mind that enjoys analyzing and learning. 

This is what I have noticed today. That as time passes, you don't realize the changes, but looking back, everything has changed, but is the same still in the ways that little habits and characteristics reemerge and find ways back into our lives. 

A, You're Adorable

So this valentine post is a little belated, but it's not very focused on the holiday, so bear with me. 

The night before, my roommate was talking about a cute valentines present idea from Pinterest, which was a alphabet flip book of sweet compliments. And I said, "Oh, like the A, you're adorable song." And none of my roommates new it so I sang the whole thing from memory, with the sign language letters like Mrs. Hubbard taught us for the Grandmother's Tea 15 years ago (I feel old that I can say something happened 15 years ago). Then I thought about memorizing The Night Before Christmas, and how I can still recite ALL the colors in Joseph's technicolor dream coat, and about how everything in her room was Mary Englibright, and how special we felt when we got to take a handful of Jolly Ranchers (which for our little five-year-old hands, couldn't have been more than about 8 pieces), and how we loved to visit her classroom as a helper when we were older. Mrs. Hubbard was an amazing teacher and I am so grateful for her influence in my life. 

Gotta love Mary Englbright. 

Ambition.

What a title, I have to say. It's one of those qualities that everybody wants to say they have, and to say they understand, but the truth is, very few people do. Don't get me wrong. There are some ambitious people out there who have done some amazing things, but more often then not, people either have to little or too much ambition. Too little, and you never amount to anything. Too much, and you never focus on doing one thing the best. Now these are the extremes. I'm not saying you are either a loser or a busybody. There are many different in-betweens and middle-grounds, and sometimes people can be incredibly motivated toward one aspect of their life, and totally blasé toward another.

So those are my thoughts. 

Now that I have philosophized a bit, here's why its on my mind today:

My roommates and I today were discussing majors, careers and the future -- typical topics in Mansion 22 -- and we were discussing where we would like to end up someday, and I realized I have two visions for my future that don't really coincide. 

One vision is a successful LDS one, where I get married at BYU and move back to Arizona to be near my family, and am a perfect little stay at home mom in a super cute Pinterest house where I cook interesting meals and have adorable genius prodigy children and a husband who rakes it in. 

The other is a successful worldly one, where I graduate from BYU and move to Chicago or New York or Boston or DC and become a sought after public relations specialist or communications advisor for a political campaign and live in a beautiful apartment in the city and do cultured things like attend the ballet and all kinds of galas.

Both of those scenarios I want desperately, but I don't see how they can coexist, on the simplest level, that one is set in a brownstone in DC, while the other is located in a house with a yard somewhere in Mesa. 

The most important part there, though, is that I don't see how it will work out. There is a quote from on of my first devotionals by Sister Oaks that says, "the Lord will provide a way for you to balance your ambitions." Short and sweet, but that simple phrase helps me realize that Heavenly Father knows me and knows my desires and has a plan that will allow me to be happy and the enjoy the best parts of each eventuality. 

I thought the cityscape was particularly fitting.

Les Miserables

So Les Mis is one of my favorite books and musicals. I had the privilege of seeing it last summer in LA and it was life changing. The message that showing compassion and kindness, and having faith that people can change can have never ending positive repercussions. Jean Valjean has been treated like a criminal his whole life, so he didn't fight the stereotype. A bishop takes him in and even after Valjean steals his one possession of worth, the bishop finally shows him compassion and that he can be a good man. He forgives him and lets him go on one condition:  that he become an honest man. In Valjean's Soliloquy, as a direct result of the bishop's compassion to turn his life around. "In His name, my task has just begun. I will see it done!" 

I didn't decide to just rant on how much I love Les Mis. Its back on my mind because I have know for some time that they would be making a movie adaption of the musical, and they just released the trailer. It looks like the movie is going to exceed my expectations. Dream the dream.

End of the Year.

Many things have happened this year that have surprised me. Coming to college its self was shock, and figuring it out was another thing entirely. Looking back, I can't believe how swimmingly things have worked out. I made some of the best friends I could have ever imagined. I handled some of my hardest setbacks more on my own then ever before. And it makes me realize that it wasn't just a coincidence that I met who I did, and that I couldn't overcome those obstacles without help. Those realizations allow me to notice the hand of the Lord in my life and the overwhelming impact He has in my life, and I am incredibly grateful. 

So those best friends I mentioned, some of them I will be living with next which I am overly stoked about, but the rest are all awesome young men who will be leaving on missions for the next two years. I am so happy and excited for them, but at the same time, I'm going to miss them a ton! I found this quote on pinterest (story of my life, I know) and it instantly become one of my favorites.

So I know its pretty depressing to have to leave at all, but since goodbye's are inevitable, I am trying to keep this in mind. Along the same lines, whenever I think of goodbye's, I think of the rainy car scene in Parent Trap, and the song they play during that scene is the epitome of sad goodbye songs. So here it is. My sad goodbye song for my going home playlist :(

If any of my college friends happen to read this, thanks for an awesome year and I really am going to miss you all. Have great lives!

Happy is Good.

So we realized today that we have a little more than five weeks of school left. Holy cow, where did the time go? But I can't even let myself think about the end because 1) I still have WAY too much to do before then and 2) it makes me sad. We still have too many weekends and fun times awaiting us to already be thinking about goodbyes. But in this spirit, I have decided to notice and cherish all the super fun times. Sometimes I don't realize how good I have it or how happy I am till its too late to enjoy it. Its so much better and makes me enjoy myself so much more if I notice in the middle. If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.

Cinderelly

My friends and I decided to go old school and watch Cinderella. Surprisingly, we remembered the words to every song--even the mispronunciations and gibberish for words we didn't know as kids. It was just as magical as I remember it being as a little girl. 

Happy Wed-nes-day!

It is 55 and sunny out today. More than that there was a warm breeze. Catch that? WARM! And the grass is starting to grow back in green. We walked past a patch of it the other day and Maeser got so excited he ran over and grabbed a big handful and made us all smell it. Smells like spring :)


More about the weather:  I still can't believe I said 55 is warm. At home 55 was coat and boots weather, but here it is shorts and sandals! I am worried that I will come home in the summer and not be able to handle AZ heat because I am acclimated to the Utah cold. Anyway...


Today is officially the half-way point of the semester. This semester has flown, even faster than the last. It will be very bittersweet when it ends because I get to see my family (yay!) and it will feel nice to have a year of college under my belt, but then I won't see my college friends all summer, and for the case of most of them, two years on top of that. 


I am also in the process of patching a hole in my pants so wish me luck. I have no Mom here to fix it if I mess up.


On the more serious side, a while back I was feeling very frustrated and helpless and struggling to keep my head above water, so to speak. I found this quote on Pinterest and it reminded me that I am in control, even when it feels like I'm not and to stay focused on what I really want. I told this story so 1) everyone can know I am doing well, 2) I just really like this quote and wanted to share it, and 3) to show my mom how awesome Pinterest is so she will just get on already!!

Hope everyone's lives are going well. Everything is great up here  at Utah. Have a happy Wednesday!

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Today one of my very best friends had his mission farewell. As I am far away in cold Utah, my parents went to fill in for me. They were telling me how great the talk was and about all my friends from home they talked to and it made me miss home so bad. And I got very excited to see them  when I go home when the semester is over in two months. Then I realized I won't see my college friends all summer and how much I will miss not spending time with them. I came to the conclusion that I am torn between two lives, and I will always be missing someone or something. Then my awesome Mother reminded me how lucky I am to such great friends and environments at home and at school and to always remember to enjoy the moments where ever I am. It does no good if I am always wishing to be somewhere else, with other people, just to turn around and wish I was back. I have always loved the quote "bloom where you are planted". I can thrive at home and at school in two completely different environments and I can love different things about them both. I am so grateful for all my friends and everyone I know at home and at school. You guys are the greatest!